Republican Pollution

Republican Pollution

Since it is common knowledge that Republicans hate the environment (Mother Earth and Mother Jones are held with the same contempt.) they might as well just admit to it. Oh it’s true. Not only do they just not care about our surroundings, they want to destroy them. They hate the environment!

I have actually been able to infiltrate the RNC (Republicans are kNown Criminals) and have uncovered astonishing information.

It is required of all registered Republicans that they sign an oath, in blood, that they will do their utmost on a daily basis, “Kill or cause the imminent demise of at least one living thing per day.” Their words, not mine. How sick is that! Doesn’t seem like much of a platform to run on does it? Well they also have the fact that they “hate anyone who is not wealthy” going for them too…

While I was snooping around the RNC headquarters, I found a memo from Mitch McConnell to Sarah Palin that stated the purpose behind their love for the environmental destruction. Again I quote, “Once we destroy the environment to the point that human life is no longer possible without little personal climate bubble thingies, only the rich will be able to afford them, and we will be done with all of the poor vermin! MUHHHHAAAWAAAAA!!” unquote.  

Yeah, I know, I was stunned as well…

You’ll be pleased to know that I was able to smuggle out of the headquarters, their newest weapon in “Environmental Destruction”. These plans were directly underneath the memo, so I assume that this diabolical machine is a major part of their Earth Destruction plans.


Disclaimer: These are not actual photographs, they are merely artists' renditions of the machine.

 The POLLUTONATOR XL 600!!!

Now you may think that the beauty of this machine is that it consumes massive amounts of energy without providing any service whatsoever, but there’s more to this girl than meets the eye.

The Pollutonator XL 600 uses no filters of any kind! It spews it’s filthy smoke and carcinogens directly into the atmosphere. It spits out more filth than a drunken Rosanne Barr! It’s thick black cloud of destruction can actually be seen from space with the naked eye!

*(Not that we are actually going to have men in space anymore.)* 

Step aside Great Wall of China, America is in on this “seen from space with the naked eye” thing too! Don’t talk to me about Chinese innovation!

 And there’s more, much more!

The PollutonatorXL600 uses only the dirtiest coal, mined by slave labor from emaciated adolescents in a third world country! These are the same children that are smuggled into our country to feed the PollutonatorXL600. You will notice in the provided pictures above, that none of them are smiling... Every few minutes when one of these poor kids die, the Republicans toss them into this horrid machine.

This ingenious device not only pollutes the atmosphere, but all solid waste by-products are dumped directly into the Potomac River!

From this recent photo, it looks like the evil Republicans are right on track with their plan of Earth's Destruction!

So, as a Republican in good standing, what do you do on a daily basis to destroy our planet? 

Libs, what have you witnessed the evil ones doing?

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