The dank musty smell of exposed earth wafts to their nostrils replacing the pungent stench of exhaust fumes. Their nostrils are unaccustomed to this new scent, as they inhabit the blacktopped expanses of the city.
New smells.
Foreign smells.
The biting odor of goldenrod mixing with red oak leaves. Freshly fallen and crushed under foot.
These scents assault their senses, yet they are not singularly aware of them. They blend with the emotion of the moment to create an incredible elixir of adrenaline and sensuality. Gone are the smog laden reminders of the homeland, this is a new and glorious endeavor!
Their numbers are not great, though the task before them certainly is.
Just three.
A trio of committed warriors.
Some would question the validity of the cause for which they fight. Some just haven’t seen the cruelty that they’ve witnessed.
When you have looked evil incarnate dead in the eye, and have seen the destruction left in it’s wake, it changes you. It puts a passion in your soul that others may not comprehend.
Theirs is not a self serving battle. Nay-the battle they fight is for the innocent. No grandeur, nor notoriety will come their way, nor do they seek such recognition. Their reward is the satisfaction of righting the wrong, freeing the captive, giving voice to speechless, and defense to the helpless. These mercenaries fight for freedom. The freedom they fight for is not their own. To hear the voice of the liberated, is the only compensation they desire.
There is nothing that stirs their passion like the exploitation of the innocent, and that is what has called these freedom fighters to duty tonight.
Before the sun breaks the horizon in the morning, evil will have taken a serious blow and justice will have been served!
Step after step, they plod on in the darkness. The night sounds, at first startling and unsettling, have now become familiar.
The far away hoot of the Great Horned Owl.
The call of the whippoorwill.
The scurrying of the small creatures of the night, rustles in the fallen leaves.
The nocturnal chatter is intermittently interrupted by their own voices, as they reaffirm the reason behind tonight’s mission.
“We have got to stand up for the oppressed.”
“I know. If we don’t do something about the exploiting of the innocent, who will?” “These creeps need to be taught a lesson anyways. What kind of evil being would imprison helpless beings for their own sick self gratification?”
At long last, the objective slowly comes into view. At first it is obscured by the darkness, but gradually, with each approaching step, it begins to take shape.
The field of shame.
Mankind should be ashamed that places such as these even exist, instead, most people just choose to turn a blind eye to it.
Have we gotten so calloused, that we can no longer hear the cry for justice and fairness in the world?
The ski masks are pulled into place, the video camera is turned on. This video will be placed online, so that, while they remain anonymous, all the world can see that there are is somebody out there trying to make a difference.
The tools of their trade are brought out of the backpacks, and like a whirlwind liberation begins. With all of the intensity of Rosie O’Donnell at an all you can eat buffet, they fly into action.
Freedom for the helpless confined.
Machetes effortlessly slice through stalks of corn. Kernels flying everywhere, Ears of corn dropping to the ground.. Like crazed men they pull entire stalks out of the prison of the furrow.
“RUN FREE” they scream! “No More Bondage!”
Forty-five minutes later a hush falls over the field. The labored breathing of the liberators is the only sound that interrupts silence. Several acres of prime crop land lie in ruins. Piles of mutilated corn stalks are spread around the field.
Congratulations are shared all the way around. With a self fulfilled sense of righteous indignation, the band makes it’s way back toward town. Tomorrow the world will see their exploits. Via the internet, thousands will witness their act of heroism. Youtube video comments will fill up, commending the liberators, and decrying the evil capitalists that imprisoned the poor plants in the first place. No one among the entire crew of the Vegetable Liberation Front, will see the idiocy of setting a cornstalk free from it’s roots. No one will video the field a week later as the stalks are all withering, and rotting in their piles. They’ll not be aware that their misguided efforts have done more damage than good, but neither are their counterparts at ALF and ELF.
Showing posts with label liberal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liberal. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, November 22, 2010
Stupidity Offsets ---The Cure For Global Hunger
I have found the cure for Global Hunger!
Yes, that’s right my friends, as of today, hunger is no more, you will never see another picture on an emaciated child from a Third World country!
Listen….there!…..did you hear it? That was the sound of the angelic realm breaking into Hallelujah Chorus…
Hunger on Earth Has ended!
Starvation is no more!
How did I, the under achiever, not used to achieving, manage to achieve this colossal achievement?
I simply looked to our government’s brilliant idea of Cap and Trade.
Cap and Trade is the plan to reduce carbon dioxide…you remember carbon dioxide don’t you? It’s the green house gas that you pollute when you BREATHE.Whoa dude…your breath is killin’ me!
Now the libs have devised a conspiracy where you have to pay good money, depending on the amount of CO2 that you produce. This is a government plot as well as a private sector scheme.(think Al Gore)
Here is the Cap And Trade story from a typical “I hate my country because God has blessed us, you should feel guilty because you are free and live in a capitalist society.” liberal standpoint. While the liberal bent is enough to make you either nauseous, or desire to go to a Woodstock Reunion, it does give a fairly simple breakdown of Cap and Trade.
Essentially, you don’t have to change you habits, as long as you pay $, and the end result is there is no change in our pollution output anyway.
Welllll… what does this have to do with me single handedly ending world wide hunger? I’m so glad you asked! Here is my brainchild.
We’ll start with a new Fat Czar, I’m thinking Michael Moore would be over-qualified for this position. It’s a non-paid position, with compensation coming mainly in the form of Bacon Double Whoppers with Cheese. With THIS czar and THIS pay scale, it is projected that within three months our entire Defense Budget will be dwarfed by our new Fat Czar Budget.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Warning Fat Guy Alert))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
FATSLOB is the arm of the Nanny State that is charge of the individual’s eating habits. Since it is common knowledge that Americans are obese slugs that cannot even handle their own food consumption, FAT SLOB shall put a 2,000 calorie per day “CAP” on each individual. Yep, your first 2,000 calories each day are compliments your bloated U.S. government, all calories after that will be taxed. Oh yeah! The coffers of the Nanny State are gonna swell now!
Here’s where we start solving worldwide hunger.
The Under Nourished will hold all countries of the world to obesity guidelines, but obviously since America is the fattest country on planet Earth, we will be the only ones held accountable. All other countries will be issued exemptions.
But, here is the good news! The starving children of the world will NOT have to pay a new tax on all of the excessive amounts of food that they do not eat! They can therefore keep all that money in their pockets to purchase food with.….ummmm okaaaay? Don’tcha think that if they would’ve had money in their pockets, they would have just bought food in the first place, and thereby NOT been starving?
Wait a minute!
No starving people actually get fed??
Hard working Americans just get a new tax, government swells, and bureaucracies get more bloated. Bleeding hearts get soothed, but nothing in the real world actually changes.
Yep, welcome to the Nanny State.
It’s the Liberal way!
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